Stuck in "Should" about parents divorce


My parents are going through a divorce and I am realizing that I feel like it is something that shouldn’t have happened. I don’t think they should have divorced, I don’t think my dad should be with the new woman he is with, I don’t think a lot of things should have happened around this.

I know that when you fight with reality, you lose 100% of the time, but I am struggling to accept this reality. I feel like it makes it hard for me to decide who I want to be in this situation. I also saw earlier about how not accepting reality disempowers you, and I was hoping you could shed more light on that topic and how to get to a place to be empowered about this?

Unintentional Model
C: Parents divorce, dad lives with new woman
T: This shouldn’t have happened
F: Unaccepting
A: Close off, don’t talk if new person is around, gossip about her, complain about her, don’t get to know her or spend time with her, don’t want to hear anything about the divorce from either parent, cry
R: ?