stuck models – help please

Hi Coach, Thanks in advance! I have rewatched the model video but could use some guidance please. From my thought download today my unintentional thought was no pain, no gain. “I’m more accustomed to pain and suffering. I don’t strive to be without and I’m not so sure part of me isn’t afraid of losing it. I’ve learned that growth comes through the pain and suffering. no pain, no gain…”

I don’t want to get rid of negative emotion but I am definitely perpetuating a lot of unnecessary physical pain.

Unintentional Model
C: physical pain
T: no pain, no gain
F: hopeless
A: make poor food choices that perpetuate physical pain, low energy, feel depleted
R: continued physical suffering sometimes compounding pain. Going in opposite direction of desired results

So if I’m changing to intentional model

C: physical pain
T: This physical pain is optional and you can choose action and make choices that can lessen the physical symptoms
F: encouraged
A: eat nourishing foods that heal instead of collapsing into emotional foods that hurt
R: Start feeling better, get stronger, decreased pain, easier to show up in world (real gain)

This is well and good. The intentional model is definitely going in the direction I want. The thought of it is encouraging is good but I’d like to get to a thought that creates a stronger feeling in my head. I need to break this cycle of physical pain/suffering so I can physically show up in this world.

What’s happening here? I think the fear comes because I like “encouraged” but I am trying to figure out how to get to inspired to do it repeatedly and stop resisting the positive outcome. A new normal. Any input would be helpful. I really want to change these thoughts and expand. Actually I want to finish healing and thrive. It’s time to GO TO WORK and I need the strength.

I typed the above yesterday, I left it to marinate. I’m going to try again.

C: physical pain
T: Taking care of myself is easy and fun and it makes me feel amazing
F: Inspired (I want to write this…the inner voice said easy for you to say…How do I get my mind here? I want love for myself so I can live my best life and show up for me. This current living feels like I’m driving with the emergency brake on)
A: protocol is my new normal.
R: I’m living a life supportive of my health and in alignment with how I want to show up in the world, with boundless energy and I WORK and I PLAY and it is SO FUN!

Shit. I just re-read the sentence about driving with the emergency brake on. Which implies it’s hard to change. I’ve listened to that thought so many times I don’t even realize I’m thinking it.
C: physical pain
T: Changing myself /living differently is too hard
F: Exhausted
A: nothing changes
R: pain continues and potentially gets worse
C: physical pain
T: I am always connected, nourished, fortified and supported by Souce. I make changes easily.
F: Connected to my soul
A: Living in alignment with my beliefs
R: Freedom – a whole new world

and now I’m crying. I’ve got some feelings to go feel. Thanks for any input.