I’m really stuck on this model, and stuck in the emotion my thoughts are creating for me – I think it’s resentment although it also feels like there is a bit more to it. I took over my sister’s car payments upon her request and flew halfway across the country to get it and drive it back to where I lived. It seemed somewhat convenient to me at the time as I was going through a bankruptcy and wasn’t sure what was going to end up happening with my vehicles. My sister and I had a loose agreement and there was no “end date” for my having the car and making her payments. With the information I had at the time, I chose to give up both of my vehicles earlier this Spring. My sister then decides less than 2 months later I give up my vehicles that she wants her car back.
She told me a month ago that it would be September 1st but then that turned in to today. The date doesn’t really matter though. I tried to look on the bright side, but really my thoughts are that this really puts me out as I can’t current finance a vehicle at all (I looked into it), and it is not ideal to have to spend my cash savings on a car, especially when this is not at all what I thought I’d have to do a couple of months ago.
Had I had this information earlier, it’s likely I would have chosen to keep my previous car in the bankruptcy, which I could have done, but I didn’t know she’d be taking her car back when I made that decision. I also realize now that these thoughts I’ve been harboring have prevented me from taking much action to get a new car, which is actually putting myself out since now she’s coming to take it back today and I’ll have to take my bike everywhere until I get a new car which is definitely not convenient.
I’ve tried doing a TDL and model on this; but I can’t seem to see any other believable thoughts that move me even an inch out of massive resentment. I can recognize that I am being a victim in this situation, but can’t seem to find thoughts to shift it.
C- Sister taking car back
T- I was helping her and she’s putting me out.
A-Hold onto angry resentful feeling, Not be kind or compassionate with her, Not able to think outside of resentment, Don’t take action on procuring another vehicle
R-Create more evidence on how I helped her and she’s putting me out (?)