Studying My Urges


As I study myself and practice the skill of watching and allowing urges to overeat, I noticed that I label very easily the first few urges in the morning. They are usually:

“Let’s go get this food.”
“It’s so delicious.”
“I want to eat this.”
“It’s only two hours away and the cafe will be open.”

So, I notice these thoughts, I already know they create over-desire for me, so I can easily be on to my brain.

But then as I don’t take action towards getting ready to go to the cafe, my brain generates new urging thoughts in the moment and so far it seems that I miss the awareness that they are biased thoughts too and buy into them as if they are truths. So these would sound like:

“Maybe you don’t want to lose weight so much.”
“With two upcoming events, it doesn’t make sense to start protocol now, knowing you will eat off plan.”
“Maybe allowing urges is just too difficult for you now.”
“It makes sense to start on January 1st and not in the middle of the month.”

When these thoughts come up (or new ones that I haven’t heard before), it’s as if I don’t yet have the awareness that they are just exactly the same urging thoughts. They just seem to be observations of the facts of my life. Truths. The news, as Brooke calls it.

And then I agree with them and reward them.

Only at the end of the day I could see that they hooked me to go and reward them and that I failed again at managing my lower brain.

If my brain is so passionate about getting me to get up and have that food and will try every possible thought, how could I move forward with my awareness to a point of being onto every thought? Why some thoughts seem like the classic urge thought while others seem like the facts of life?