Success and being uncomfortable


So, I asked a question yesterday called Day 24 and Money about why I don’t feel I deserve success. I ran a few models and it came down to the thought that I think I’m lazy (which I’ve been told is part of my nature so of course I adopted this as fact). I also borrowed a lot of money throughout my lifetime from my parents to live which really pissed off my sister because she works really hard for her money. I never did so I feel I don’t have a strong work ethic and don’t know how to adopt that skill at the age of 43. When I was in my twenties, I had a male best friend who had a crush on me, and he paid for everything. Now, I have a partner who is pretty well off in my opinion and I don’t pay for many things as I don’t make a lot of money (scarcity mindset). I am currently paying down my student loan but still feel guilty that I don’t contribute financially. It’s like I have proven everyone right that I can’t take care of myself. Have I attracted people into my life because I secretly don’t want to take care of myself financially?? I really want to change this terrible mindset and need some help gaining a strong work ethic as well. Working hard makes me uncomfortable because I never had to, but I definitely want to learn. Some insight please!!