Suffering for Money

I’ve realized I have a belief that won’t budge about how money has to be hard and it has to hurt a little bit to make it. It has to be a struggle or it doesn’t count.

Recently I’ve been building a cryptocurrency portfolio with 51 separate assets across multiple wallets and it’s really fun for me and it’s been gaining steam and paying off. I want to learn more, and the more I learn the more money I make and I’m even starting to think I want to teach other people about how to do it, especially since there are so few women in the crypto space.

But… My brain keeps offering me that this is too easy, that it will stop, that crypto is just a phase and a bubble like the dot com era and that I need to be focusing more on building my business rather than learning about something that’s not a “sure thing”.

I’ve been working on different businesses over the years, I have a small business doing intimacy coaching for women and another doing Akashic readings. I find the client acquisition and consistency to be challenging as I’ve been having health problems lately, spending time in bed and started a “hobby” of crypto investing. I do love that I can do it even when I feel crappy in my pajamas. I don’t have to do any instagram reels, sales calls, etc.

I’m now making more money investing than I having with coaching. And to me it’s easier, though I realize when I take a step back that it’s not something that’s easy or interesting for everyone and a lot of people actually don’t make money with it. But my thought error is that It’s too easy, it doesn’t count and I need a “real” job that is more time consuming and requires constant action, marketing, several hours a day of client interaction, etc.

I’m having trouble with ladder thoughts that I actually believe in response to “making money has to hurt or it doesn’t count” or “easy money won’t last”. I also frequently think when I look at my portfolio and see it grow, “easy come easy go” when I’d rather just be happy I made some more.

Brain does not want to budge and wants to keep beating me up for not “working”. I try to redirect it and point out that reading whitepapers and studying charts and analyzing potential investments IS working. Even if I’m in bed or outside with the kids and I’m not feeling stressed.

It just keeps insisting that I need to be stressed. And yes, I get stressed when the market crashes, which is does regularly, but it’s a different kind of meditative stress.

Here’s a few thoughts I’ve tried out:

“Maybe money doesn’t have to be hard.”
“It’s possible that cryptocurrency is here to stay.”
“What you’re learning and doing could be very valuable.”
“‘I have to suffer for money’ is just a thought.”

And then regardless, my brain comes back with, “So? You still need a real career. It might be a thought, but it could be true. You should be working on your business.” Feeling: worry Action: don’t celebrate wins, hide what I’m doing, back away from the charts, beat myself up for not making a reel, watch instagram reels and beat myself up because these are normal people like me and they’re doing it. result: I don’t move forward with my business nor do I learn more about cryptocurrency and just scroll instagram and don’t even enjoy it.