Support with Urges to stop before I start


This is my second week in SCS. I joined because I want to work on time management.

I understand that my primitive brain always wants to stop me doing a task that’s good for my future self because it doesn’t want to delay gratification in the moment. I am really tired of breaking promises to myself and the terrible feelings it makes me have about myself.

I’m observing that I have resistance to starting. It could be starting to do my physical therapy that day, starting a task at work, washing the dishes…etc.
For example, earlier today I made an appointment with myself to do a “to do list download” to prepare for Monday Hour One”
I was excited to get going- and then…ugh I felt the wall go up. The urges to walk away took over. I finally caught myself and made this model.

C-appointment with myself to for to do list download at noon
T- I don’t want to
F-heavy/crushed /disgust (I really let myself feel this in my body and just felt completely lethargic and heavy. Which then passed into feeling jumpy, even itchy, and I physically wanted to get up and get out of that room.)
A- do another task to be productive, laundry, cooking, consuming more information in the study vault
R- failed to complete to do list download, and feel bad about myself for breaking another promise to myself.

I would like some help with
-an intentional model, and digging deeper into the one above

And

– What are some thoughts/ techniques I can use to help myself manage the urges to stop so I can stay in the discomfort and start?