How to be supportive of myself but also encourage change

Hi Brooke, I had submitted this to be asked on the Mon Aug 21st call as I was not able to attend the webinar so I apologize if this was answered already but I did not hear the answer yet.

I am at a place where I have constant negative critique telling me that I am fat, ugly and need to lose weight. So what I do is get defensive and say I am fine and don’t stop myself from eating nor do I workout because I want to love myself and then I gain weight. OR I agree with them but feel bad so I do a terrible job at eating healthy and then I emotionally eat. YIKES! How do I stop this vicious cycle? I want to tell myself that you are valued and great but you can be healthier and eat better. Would this work?
Also how do I respond to my family’s negative urges to lose weight? I am not sure how to deal with it because I want to protect myself and defend against their crap but at the same time I also agree that I do need to get healthier. I’m just unsure how to do it because I find myself being spiteful and eating badly in secret to “get at them” and ultimately that makes me lose out. I am struggling with the want to get better and be better but also know that I am enough and shouldn’t change for others.

Thank you in advance.