Switching thoughts in the moment?

Hello! I had a situation w a colleague yesterday where I was really upset. I realized it was due to my thinking and in my head worked out the below model:
C colleague
T he shouldn’t criticize me; he should want to learn more about what I am saying
F pissed
A shut down
R I don’t learn more from him about what he is thinking.

I knew in th moment my thoughts were about how he should behave differently but i was so pissed that I couldn’t switch my thought and the moment for conversation or follow up w him was lost. Is the goal to get to a point where I recognize and witch thoughts immediately? Sometimes the emotion is so strong, I have a hard time doing that until the next day. Today intentional model would be
C colleague
T he doesn’t want to learn/listen and that’s ok. I wonder why?
F neutral or curious
A ask more questions
R I learn more about him

Thanks for your insight?