C: Conversation w/ mom. She has no place to live after 8/21. Wants to move back to SB from Santa Fe. Asked if we could buy her a place here, so she could rent it out & travel.
T: Wow! She has chosen all these years to be a ‘free spirit’ & now she wants us to provide the stability. When she gets stuck & depressed, she expects me to fix it. I have been more of a mom to her than she has been to me. She does victim well.
F: pissed, defensive
A: find all the evidence I can to affirm she has not been a good mom –
R: I am the victim
C: Conversation w/ mom
T: How can I support my mom & myself given her circumstances?
F: compassionate, self-love, empowered
A: Be a good mom to myself. Find all the evidence of how she has been there. Do my inner work. Forgive her. Encourage her to have a game plan & then decide how best to support her.
R: Support myself in relationship to my mom. Support my mom.
I think I need some help w/ ‘bridge’ thoughts. ITP model sounds good & is believable in this moment, but other thoughts seem louder like – oh shit, I don’t want to take care of my mom, I can’t even be around her for long periods of time. She is such a parasite…This has been her pattern – go into crisis mode & then knock on my door … I am not a good daughter…
I was thinking I had nothing from my past to heal. LOL. Glad this is the topic this month. Thx – Ginny