T: He’s being dishonest.


C: K went on a date and did not tell them that we are dating.
T: He’s being dishonest.
F: Cheated.
A: Shut down, feel tightness in chest, be reactive, try to get more information but not really engage with what he is saying, tell him I am bothered, catastrophize, only see things from my perspective, assume I am right and he is wrong.
R: When I think he is being dishonest I am not remaining open to his perspective. I don’t listen and hold on to the need to be right. I end up cheating myself out of a resolution and hold on to hurt.

C: K went on a date and did not tell them that we are dating.
T: I wonder why.
F: Curious.
A: Try to get his perspective, get curious, stop acting from a reactive place, give him the benefit of the doubt, remind myself that this is someone I love and trust, give up the need to be right.
R: I use curiosity as a superpower and remain receptive. I give up the need for there to be a right and a wrong and simply try to understand.