T: I shouldn’t have eaten that

C: ate naan bread, rice, butter chicken, lentil soup and kebab
T: I shouldn’t have eaten that
F: guilt
A: ruminate about my weight, pick apart my body, worry about the scale, complain about my body, get urges to eat, buffer on tiktok
R: I punish myself for eating, I keep the cycle alive

I don’t want to be this way. I want to just eat! I want to just eat and trust that my body is fine! I’m not going to suddenly gain all this weight from eating carbs at a meal.  I think there are some underlying beliefs here screwing things up. Primarily, the belief that if I don’t monitor and keep my food intake low that I will gain weight.

C: food and body exist
T: if I don’t monitor all my food and keep intake low I’ll gain weight
F: constricted
A: count calories, weigh constantly, pinch body fat, criticize self and body, plan restrictive diets, skip meals
R: I continue to perpetuate the belief that monitoring and restricting my food will keep me safe

Ultimately the belief here is that my body has to look a certain way to worthy of love and acceptance. I know that’s not true but I live as though it were.  I need some help figuring out which thought to start with so that I can move into a place of body acceptance.

Are there any resources on body acceptance that I can use on the site? I’m a diamond scholar.