This is month 4 of scholars and I’ve been watching a pattern emerge. I end up with panic in the F line, and the result is not getting things done.

You recently offered a T line when I was holding someone else responsible for how I was feeling and what my resulting actions were – “I have 100% control over what I think, feel and do no matter what.” It puts me squarely in responsibility when I view another person as negative or positive rather than neutral, and am reacting off that. Great. I’m getting there in understanding, in my bones, not just in my head, that it’s all net netural. I use this new T in other situations where I’m unwittingly holding someone else responsible for me.

I’m up at 3am with spinning thoughts around having made a mistake, with panic in my F line. Encore.

C: two painters coming Tuesday to prep for painting for $650 total
T: We don’t have enough work for two painters so I’m wasting money we need for bills
F: Panic
A: Distracted, wake up in middle of night, head spins, worry
R: Tired, don’t get important things done

C: two painters coming Tuesday to prep for painting for $650 total
T: I have 100% control over what I think, feel and do no matter what.
F: Empowered
A: Text the boss painter, tell him I’m concerned we don’t have enough work for two of them and can we please confirm that we do, acknowledge its late to do this but it’s weighing on my mind
R: Might just be able to go back to sleep, which would mean more rested and able to make wise decisions

Any other options here? I want to go deep, I want to live with emotional maturity in the areas I haven’t been. I want mastery in this.

As always, thanks.