Was having a really good conversation with my husband this morning about some big goals for us (possibly buying a house and what that means, etc.). At one point he commented “we need a really big lump sum” – I agreed and said “yeah let’s think that’s possible” and “what are some things we might be overlooking that could make that happen”. He then said “it’s not going to happen” and my first reaction was “don’t say that, I believe it is possible and putting the negative out to the universe isn’t going to help it” . Fast forward and he’s like “ok, I’m ending this conversation because you’re not even talking reality here. I’m not going to plan big decisions around things that are impossible.” And with that he was done and walked away.
Before starting this program I probably would’ve said a few choice words after that but I did not 😉 I also would’ve probably felt “attacked” and hurt by him just closing down the conversation when I wasn’t ready to, but I managed my thoughts to not do that (yay!)
I was feeling what I can only describe as anxiety about him saying that my possible is not possible (still feeling it now as I’m reflecting back on the conversation which is why I’m writing) I’m struggling with a model on this one because I want to have a different feeling and my T lines aren’t working –
C: he says it’s not possible
T: I don’t believe that, anything is possible but I need him to be all-in if we’re going to find a creative way to do this
F: sad/anxious – if it’s going to happen it’s going to be because I figure out a solution
T: I don’t believe that, anything is possible
F: Same F as above
I do believe the T in the above model so why isn’t it changing the F? THANKS!