Taking Responsibility and Self-Criticism


The more I do this work, the more I am able to move away from victim mentality, which has been great!

But I notice that now I’m teetering on the other end of the spectrum, where when something negative happens in my life, I’ll ask myself where my responsibility was in this situation, and then judge and criticize the hell out of myself.

For example, my partner and I had an argument this morning. Afterwards, I ran a model, and I asked myself what I was thinking to have caused these emotions. That then led to “this was all my fault”, which is victimy on its own too…

And this isn’t the only example of this. I seem to have moved away from “this is all their fault!” to “woe is me, everything is my fault”.

While the statement itself is true, since I create my own results, the F line is not so empowering. It’s very heavy, like now I have this burden of my entire life trajectory on my shoulders, and if anything goes wrong, it’s ALL MY FAULT.

Can you offer some wisdom as to how to see this differently?