Taking Responsibility For My Part Of Connection

I’m committing to taking responsibility for my part of creating connections with people. I often find myself to be cold or distant with people (a mechanism I use when I’m feeling shy) and then am sad when I didn’t connect with anyone say at a party or social event. What tools can I use in the moment when faced with social interactions to keep me on track to make the effort and connect? An intentional model or premade thought?