Yesterday evening my daughter had a tantrum in the street and in the stairs of our building.
She was asking me to play a game in a very precise way, and I didn’t understand how to do it. I tried a few times, then I said we had to come back home. This is when she began to cry and be very upset, pulling on my clothes, and refusing to come back home.
C My daughter is crying
T She doesn’t have to put me through this again
A walk forward, don’t wait for her, pull my clothes back, withdraw from her, stay alone in the bedroom, don’t speak to anyone
R I disconnect from my daughter and my husband
C Yesterday evening
T I shouldn’t be so angry
A judge myself, eat dessert, stay alone in the bedroom
R I don’t follow my commitment not to judge myself no matter what
C My daughter is crying on the stairs
T The neighbors will think I’m a bad mother
A create an urge to come back home, take my daughter’s hand to come back sooner to our home, don’t wait for her, picture myself beating my daughter and the neighbors are watching it
R I consider myself as a bad mom
I had written this model the day before but didn’t apply it:
C 8:25 am, my daughter says “this is not the right hairstyle I want”
T I’m willing to feel anger, it’s ok, I’m human
A don’t react, feel the feeling, notice it’s created by my thought, remember the thought creating it, take distance with it by observing it, speak gently to myself, notice what I feel the urge to do
R I’m the watcher of myself
Should I print it and read it when it happens again? (very soon I guess…)
I need to set a frame for my daughter and allow her to feel her feelings. I’d like not to feel such powerful anger. I see myself beating her up, I want to reject her, and it feels really wrong. Why am I so angry? Why can’t I stay calm and let her have her tantrum?