I’m having trouble coming up with a clear result here.

I had my taxes done and after trying to find a new tax preparer for over a month cause the guy I used to use retired. I finally had a few recommendations/referrals from others and went with what I thought was best based on what they said about her. I even spoke with someone else that used her besides the person that said she was excellent and using her for years and her business. So long story short – The whole experience was crazy in my opinion . I walk in and she was totally unprofessional (I know it’s a judgment) but I didn’t say 2 words and she is telling me her whole life story but first says your eyes look fine and I’m looking at her like what??? Then she is like oh I was thinking you were someone else that apparently had two black eyes. So I sit and next thing I know she’s inviting me to her beach house and if I like the beach . She’s not asking me really anything about the taxes. She works full time for a firm and also separately for herself in her home.

So I’m watching everything like a hawk that she is putting correct info in on the computer. She doesn’t ask me anything about my business and just puts in based off the spreadsheet I gave her that’s lists all my business accounting in which I’ve always submitted and lean on their expertise what is officially allowed to be claimed. I sat there and in disbelief of how I could of attracted this and if she was really knowing what she was doing. Where I went wrong in choosing her. Anyhow, I walked out with more money then I imagined I would ever get. I also asked her several times are you sure this is correct like I don’t want anything on there that is made up. She told me it was. But still has me in a frenzy if anxiousness thinking the IRS is gonna flag this and hold my return and it’s going to be a complete mess — like she must of done something wrong. We went over the whole thing and she assured me there was money that I didn’t get that I was supposed to based on stimulus package.  And also that based on certain child credits or education credits I was due based on the IRS giving me the doc as stated. Anyhow there were several more things to me that seemed red flags that this woman that has me believing she has no idea what she is doing. But yet I look at the return and also look up some things this morning to make sure the process or instructions for qualifications and such and I see it may be correct I suppose but I’m still unsure but it still has me anxious until I actually hear back from my return of being processed.

I had to tell you all the drama. I know I could have several models going on. This is the one I’m going with.

So I’m wondering when you have the other person in the T line. How it results in me or I — and also just having this energy is going to attract the very thing I don’t want so it is having me try to get out of the current state which I can’t shake cause I’m worried

C – sitting on the couch having thoughts
T – she has no idea what’s she’s doing/does she know what she’s doing
F – anxious
A – judge her, judge myself for making poor decisions, best myself up, want to get up and leave but
don’t, try to relax and not judge, finally come to see that she has her own thoughts going on that is making her behave a certain way, and learn from this, disregard my gut (from the beginning of this process of trying to find someone new I think as well but not sure) devalue myself as a good business women ??—- basically all these thoughts I’m thinking is what I’m looking as a l’m alien looking at me on the couch so that is why I’m putting in the c line… but that is my actions —- loads and loads of thoughts and doubts and sitting there scared I made the worst mistake

R – Is it: I don’t believe in myself and what I’m doing ?? I may have made a mistake — (a thought)

I do want to feel better — but I’m ruminating . I do want to get rid of this negative energy — I do feel like it’s going to attract the very thing that frightens me of getting audited or that this is wrong—

when in truth – this may be exactly 100% due to me . I just left my trust in someone and pray she did the right thing and it’s not shady because I wasn’t looking for a shady person and her unprofessionalism I’m judging her for. But that is a judgment right ??? Not truth 🙈🤷🏼‍♀️ To me it’s a C for sure.

All I wanted was to find someone good , find someone that would get me what I was entitled to and be correct at the same time but I feel like fraud because it a return  more than I expected but very well might be 100 is what she is telling me. Which she said it was and if I did get a letter to give it to her.

Any insight as to how to look at this in a different way? Or questions to ask myself as well?