When my husband is tired or stressed, he turns into a bear. It’s not like he’s abusive in any way, just really difficult to be around. he basically turns into a self-centered jerk chirping constantly at me and the kids. I know from the work here that I can’t change him and I’m actually doing better in not taking it personally, even laughing it off knowing that this is just how he gets.
That said, it’s a lot of thought work to be around him and frankly, I don’t want to be around it. The idea of accepting this as “normal” for the next 40+ years is not something I want to even think about! He great 80% of the time but the rest… ugh. He is even aware of it because often when he comes out of the funk he will “apologize” (which consists of him saying “I know I was a jerk the last few days but I was really stressed out”
I know I can’t change it …. but I don’t know that I can tolerate it either. I can love him unconditionally but the day could come where I just do t want to put up with it Anymore and he would be very upset. Wouldn’t it be fAir to give him a heads up?