I am a 2-months scholar and would like to get help with the month’s homework.
A ‘story’ I chose to tell differently is my relationship with writing; or I should say, not writing.

I was out of job few years ago and my husband and I decided that this would be a great time for me to pursue writing novels and he will support us both.
Five years after and I wrote only few pages, as I kept fearing writing and kept buying more books and seminars about writing.

I cannot tell a fake story by telling myself – I am actually a prolific writer, I wrote so many books, I have zero fear of writing, and so on.
Not only these are not true, my brain is literally mocking me inside my head, telling me it’s a joke to think these thoughts.

In the workbook you ask –

What are the FACTS of this event?
My husband agreed to support us financially so I will spend time writing books and I haven’t written any.
I had all the time and resources to write and I haven’t.

What is the current story you have been telling about this event?
I felt afraid to write and overwhelmed.
I had difficulty managing my own day after working for other people all my life.
I should have figured it out by now.
I feel I do not contribute anything to the marketplace for years.
I am disappointed that I am not doing my part.

What is the story you WANT to tell yourself about what this event means?
It’s not easy to go from being employed to be self-generating and it’s ok that it took me that many years.
I was reaching out to do something I’ve never done before and my brain signaled me that I am afraid and overwhelmed.
The fear I felt is simply an unmanaged brain.
Everything I read and learned about these years will serve me in the future.
The fact that it arouses shame in me means this is something that it’s important to me.
It’s never too late to start.

When I read to myself these thoughts I almost feel like there are two voices in my head that one totally believes them and one is still on the fence and is skeptic.
I wonder if you think these thoughts will actually serve me and if you have other suggestions in addition?