My teenage daughter has body odor.
I’ve bought her deodorant. I think she wears it but not regularly.
Her room smells really bad and both my husband and I have addressed it with her.
She has never paid a lot of attention to hygiene issues, which is different from my other two children.
In other ways she has good hygiene (showers regularly etc), dresses nicely.
I feel like I am doing her a disservice if I don’t teach her to take care of her body (plus our house smells).

Anyway, today she smelled bad and I asked her if she was wearing deodorant. She got mad when I asked her.
I’m struggling with how to show up as the mom I want to be (teach my kids the things they will need to know to succeed in the world), understanding that she may feel hurt by the things I say.

C: Daughter has a body odor
T: I need to tell her about this but she won’t react well
F: Stressed
A: I tell her but bring a weird energy to it
R: I don’t handle the situation well

I get stuck trying to create an intentional model:
C: Daughter has a body odor
T: I want to show up as the kind of mom who prepares her kids for the world
F: (this still feels stressful)
A:
R:

How can I do what I think I need to do, but allow her to have whatever response she will have?