Test Driving Some New Thoughts

Hi Brooke,
I am test driving some new thoughts so I can get to a place of truly appreciating my husband which really means learning to manage my own emotions so I stop trying to control him. Thoughts like:
He is totally right
He can think and say anything he wants and it’s all good
He sees things very different from me
I am not always right
His view is very interesting
1. So, one thing I am struggling with is sometimes my husband modifies his behavior and it instantly changes my anger to contentment, and I know this is what has happened and crazy enough then I’m frustrated that his behavior impacted my thoughts and feelings before I did….even if it is what I want, because I wanted to do it without him doing anything. Do I just keep trying to do it and model it and eventually beat him?
2. My gut reaction to my husband is to automatically disagree with anything he says…do I just keep trying these thoughts until my reaction is truly neutral or just interested in what he is saying? The interesting part is when I am not in the drama I really believe these thoughts.
Thank you so much!!!