My partner is moving closer and part of our next steps in our relationship is me staying over at his place more often.
Part of me is nervous about this because I worry I’m going to have to change my lifestyle to be more like his… ie starting my work day earlier, going to bed earlier, taking a break to eat dinner at 6, etc. But I prefer a different daily schedule.
So this worry was triggered in me with the model below and I want to create a more empowering intentional model as we go into this transition knowing that I don’t have to conform to his schedule just because we live together more. And he might not like it but I have to do what’s right for me.
C: partner texted me “I can’t wait for more sleepovers soon!”
T: Oh no, he thinks I’m going to be there all the time and we are going to be working and eating dinner together and doing all the things together
– Feel worry about having to change my lifestyle and schedule
– Wonder if I should remind him that I still want to be able to have my own work schedule and do my own thing sometimes and not be over all the time
– Worry about bumping up against same argument we’ve had in the past about amount of time with each other
R: Worry about our difference in expectations (is this the right result line?)
Where do I go from here?
I know I’m in control ultimately of what I decide to do with my schedule but the part I have to become more okay with is him not liking it sometimes and ultimately if he doesn’t like it so much, it could mean the end of our relationship which also scares me. I’ve made some changes to meet him halfway but I don’t want to lose who I am and I’m a believer in Brooke’s philosophy that we can’t really change people only our own thoughts about them, so I just want to change my thoughts about the situation.