I just wanted to say thank you so much. I’ve been blown away by the progress I am making on having conscious awareness of my thoughts. I just had my coaching call with Janet and it was so helpful. I have been trying to change my relationship with my boss and had done a ton of models around it, knowing that my thoughts, not her actions, create the experience that I am having. This was going well until the old thought would pop up and I’d try to squash it and replace it with the new thought that Janet helped me realize I didn’t believe yet.
So my unintentional model was:
Circumstance: Boss says words
Thought: She shouldn’t say those words. Oh no! You shouldn’t have that thought!
Feeling: Frustrated, angry, anxious
Action: Beat myself up, say words or act a way towards my boss that I don’t want
Result: Relationship continues to deteriorate
Circumstance: Boss says words, thought comes up that says “she shouldn’t say that”
NEW THOUGHT: Oh! Look at me thinking that thought. I’m learning to try on a new one and it’s ok that I don’t have it down yet. What might work better right now for the result I want to create?
Feeling: Supportive, compassionate, curious
Action: Pause, say words back that reflect the outcome I want
Result: Relationship with boss AND with myself improves.
I’m so excited to keep learning!!