Your comment on me being 2 was a game changer for me. It allowed me to understand how I have been managing myself since I was younger than 5. I called it “shredding” but never understood I put myself in 2 pieces to go after each other as hard and as painfully as possible (punishment for misdeeds that was always considered inadequate for the misdeeds done). With this arrangement no matter what skills I acquired, they would be used equally against the other half insuring a perpetual torturous standstill. To be clear on this is such a blessing. Thank you!
I value your other comments as well. I am in the process of understanding what integrating them into my doing is. I am grateful for the roadmap to refer to.