"Thanks mom"


C: Guy I’m dating says “thanks mom”
T: That’s super annoying and insulting
F: Annoyed
A: I make a request of him not to call me mom again and put a little smiley face emoji too. Have a brief discussion about it. He says he won’t do it again.
R: ??

I’m not sure what the result is here. I didn’t like what he said, so I made a request that he not call me that again. We have a bit of a conversation about it, he says he was being a smart ass (another word that I hate), and I told him that I felt like it was insulting, and I know he didn’t mean it that way. I said I figured it was better to tell him than to be secretly annoyed by it. He thanked me for telling him.

Question: What is the result here? Is it that “I get my needs met?” Is it that I try to change my C to get my needs met?

Part 2 of this model.

C: Guy I’m dating says “thanks mom”
T: How does he not know that’s insulting?
F: Judgmental and resentful
A: I judge him in my head, tell myself that this is never going to work, think that he’s oblivious and tone deaf, I ruminate about how this is never going to work
R: Again, I don’t know the result here either

I guess if I answer my question, “how does he not know that’s insulting?”, my answer is “he’s stupid”. That is often my answer when it comes to men.

C: Guy I’m dating says “thanks mom”
T: What a stupid thing to say
F: Bitter
A: I withdraw from the relationship, I pull away basically
R: Again, no idea what the R is here

In short, I notice that I think a lot of people are stupid, including many of the guys I date. And I don’t know what the results of these models are.