Thanksgiving stress breakthrough

Great breakthrough today. After almost three weeks in a great protocol that resulted in 5 pounds of weight loss, I found myself buffering with food this afternoon. Lots of staring into the pantry and refrigerator and eating foods on my list but grazing and snacking.

I did a thought download and realized that my thought was “holidays stress me out. “ But then had a deeper realization that really it is my mom who is stressed by holidays – and my husband – and THEIR stress stresses me out to the extreme.

However, realizing that of course it is only my THOUGHTS about their stress that creates my stress, I changed my intentional model thiughts to the following and found some relief:

They can feel stress and it’s ok. Stress is just an emotion and they can feel any emotion and be fine. Their thoughts cause their stress and I can’t change their thoughts – only they can. My job is not to fix their stress because that is impossible. My job can be to feel compassion for their stress and love them. I can help with tasks from a place of love and compassion without taking on their stress as my own or my job to fix. Their stress does not cause my stress. What causes my stress is my thoughts and I control my thoughts. My new thought is: they are stressed and that’s okay and I can hold space for their stress and show up with love and compassion from a place of peace.

Specifically, I can bring food items to Thanksgiving and respond to my mom’s 25 text messages about Thanksgiving and listen to my husband say he has to be in a “scream house” for Thanksgiving (we are a raucus group) and think: My mom is stressed by hosting Thanksgiving and that is ok. She will survive and it is not my job to fix it because that is impossible. I love my mom and want to help her. Only I control my thoughts and I choose to think I am lucky to have Thanksgiving with family. Im at peace no matter how others show up.

This is helping for now. I am choosing to believe hard that it will help during the event. I hope this helps others who take on family members’ stress as your own. You dont have to! You can be free!! Thank you SCS and Brooke.