This is my first month in SCS and I’m both grateful and amazed by so much of what I’ve been learning.
Focusing on emotions for me has proven challenging, inspiring and as of this morning almost “cosmic”.
Yesterday, we had to put our 13-year old dog to sleep unexpectedly. It was the first time I’ve ever had to do that in my life (I am mid-50’s) and even though I know it was the right decision, it was so hard and so painful. I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced such a deep ache. Because of how the day unfolded yesterday, I didn’t hear the latest podcast episode until this morning. I got chills when I realized that Brooke was talking to Krista St. Germain about GRIEF. And then listening to Brooke describe her experience of grief from three different deaths I couldn’t believe it. I lost my mother in 2012 to alcoholism and last night, as I experienced the fresh pain of my lost pet I had a recurring thought about the fact that I felt MORE pain from my dog than my mother. And I started layering on guilt to my sadness…like “what kind of person feels more sadness over a dog than their mother”. Honestly it felt like the podcast was released just for me.
I’m still working on the model for all of the thoughts I’m having and the feelings, and I don’t really have a “question” just more of a thank you and “aha” moment from my decision to enroll in SCS. Thanks Brooke!