The emotion of evolution

Dear Brooke,
Your podcast from yesterday impacted me very profoundly. I had goosebumps for much of it and by the end of it, I found myself in tears. As I see your posts on facebook, I re-listened to episode 140 this morning while I was getting for the day and then immediately did the exercise of gathering my mentors in one room and asking them for advice and writing what they would say (this was easy as you were now in the room and I know exactly what you will say). This then lead me to ask, who’s advice would I most like as to how to proceed and this stirred a memory of your podcast about using your future self as a mentor, so I have gone back to that episode just now and by the end of it was sobbing, shaking shoulders and all.
This feels really important as I have a lot of emotion in the area of potential / change / evolutionary place. I have not been conscious of this and would have said, if asked that change = excitement for me. I am very familiar with doing models as I have been a scholar for almost a year but I really would appreciate feedback on these ones as I have not sought input before and my brain is telling me I am going to die if something is wrong with them. The intentional thoughts feel true and immediately accessible when I choose them.
Intellectually, I really believe I can set the world on fire which sounds great but I think that is really a past focussed mentality as I have had much success in my life – not easily, I do work very hard at goals but with a negative impetus oftentimes, like I need to prove myself, or with thoughts like -worthiness lies in attaining of this goal. This is evident in my life as I have had much on paper ‘success’ with a lovely family, a beautiful home, the lifestyle that I want and a job that is manageable as a mother of 2 which pays really well.
Imagining myself 70lbs lighter than now with a thriving coaching business is a thought that I can fill and colour in and hold firmly in my line of vision right now and is a daily practice. But I want to be free of the emotion that’s coming with that. I think the emotion is coming from shaking off old beliefs that came up in the download.
What are your thoughts?

MODEL 1 Uninentional
C: My Life
T. I haven’t lived up to my fullest potential
F: Deep sadness
A: Engage in indulgent emotions, practice false self care, ie: Buffering
R: Rinse and repeat cycle of disappointment in myself

MODEL 1 Intentional
C: My Life
T: I am going to lose 70LBs more and then learn to coach others to regain control of their minds and evolve
F: Laser focus
A: Take massive action – plan, review daily outcomes against plan, manage mind. Make a plan and a back up plan to ensure I can attend the coaching registration call on Monday evening (European time) with Jody
R: Move towards my thinner, evolved self.

MODEL 2 Unintentional
C: My Life
T: What could I have been by now, had someone just believed in me? ( This thought has been really subsconscious and I only got to it in the thought download)
F: Self pitiful
A: Indulge in misdirected self care, buffer my life
R: Left wondering at what might have been

MODEL 2 Intentional
C: Ly life
T: I truly believe that I can do anything I commit to doing. I believe in me.
F: Desire to evolve
A: Set goals, plan, focus on future (short and longer term)
R: Create confidence through courageous commitment

Much gratitude