The Model and Emotional Attraction in Relationships


I was seeing a life coach for a few months and our final session ended about 3 weeks ago. Initially I felt the sessions were really going well, but then things started to take a strange turn when I started to feel as if I was opening up too much and I started to feel a strange emotional attraction towards her because she always knew what to say to me to make me feel better. I began to feel a closeness due to the intimate exchange of information that occurred between us. I felt really happy and giddy whenever we would have our coaching appointments. I also felt horrible guilt because though I am married, here I was feeling an emotional attraction and dependancy for someone outside of my marriage. After 3 long weeks of not seeing her and not being able to talk to her and tell her all of the awesome things that were happening in my life, I reached out to her the other day via email and sent a very bland “how are you doing” email and casually asked her if she was “bored” someday would she like to meet up and have coffee. She wrote back asking how I was doing and wanted to know if I was ok and said that she was free to meet up. After some back and forth emails, we agreed to meet up and have dinner at a restaurant. Some part of me feels guilt because I can’t wait to see her and tell her how great I am doing and because so much is going on in my life I feel like she might be able to give me some advice and do what she used to do and help me feel better about everything (although on some level I know that other people can’t really make us feel some kind of way – we do it to ourselves) but then another side of me feels guilt because I am still grappling with the attraction. I need help putting this into the model because I think my attraction and everything else I am feeling is probably because of my thoughts and my manual of how I think things should go between us. I like talking to her but I think it’s my own thoughts that are flawed when I tell myself that in actuality perhaps, I just enjoy talking and having someone listening and I really should not feel guilty at all. I need help putting this in the model and making sense of it.