The Model For Novelists

These days I am writing a novel.
In the past two months I got no writing done and looking back I can see that my brain was too timid and kept repeating to me the thought: “I don’t know what to write next.”

Each time I believed this thought, it caused me doubt and the actions I took were: watch cats on YouTube, watch coaching calls, do Models, and eat.

My results are: I wasted these two months, I got no further on my novel, I gained weight, and I strengthened this thought.

Last week I tried something else.
When the time to write my novel came and I noticed the same thought “I don’t know what to write next” I had a new awareness for it and decided that one thing I will NOT do: I will not go on YouTube nor eat. I will force myself to sit and write.
Then I noticed another sentence: “But I really don’t know what comes next in this story.”
And this Model unfolded much the same way as the other.

This thought feels like a Circumstance. In the sense that brains that need to come up with ideas for fictional stories either “have the story” or they don’t.
That it’s something mysterious that comes when we least expect, when the muse comes.

So, all these predispositions of other novelists before me who believed that don’t serve me but I cannot find bridge thoughts or anything that will make me flow with ideas when it feels like I am looking inside my brain, searching for the rest of my fictional story and I find nothing there.

Would love your help.