The Model worked. Mindset shift. Now what? KMW

I started 2018 desperately wanting a huge change in my professional life. I was DESPERATE to leave my job of 15 years and not in a positive mindset about it. I was bitter and blaming others. I couldn’t leave my job because my husband had started a business that wasn’t providing the income we needed for our family. I was in massive action about leaving my job though – applying for jobs, networking, journaling, visualizing, even taking a leave of absence to start a side hustle. Listening to your podcasts I picked up that I had to shift my mindset. I could be happy no matter what the circumstances and in fact I shouldn’t leave the job simply because I wasn’t happy. The negative thought patterns would follow me. So I worked on it. Honestly I thought it was wasted effort but I kept at it. I finally signed up for SCS in October. I worked through the homework. That manager that drove me ballistically insane? I listed all the reasons I appreciated him. The company I had lost all my love for? I rediscovered all the lessons and opportunities to grow they had afforded me. The commute and time rushing from / to my family? Transformed (and awesome quiet time to work on my thoughts). I actually started enjoying my job again and connecting with my team. Very subtly without me really noticing until now, I am happy in my job again!

And then my husband says this week, it’s go time. He needs me. It’s my time to do what I’ve been dreaming of doing – slowing down, giving up the daily commute, having the freedom to be with my kids, DECLUTTERING like a maniac (yeah October SCS!!!), really getting my business off the ground. Now I’m reluctant!! Whattt??? I’m finding trouble leaving 15 years of memories behind me. I’m having trouble really even identifying the emotion or thoughts about it. My husband is dumbfounded. So am I frankly. The freedom to leave my job without the chip on my shoulder is so expansive it’s almost frightening. I just always knew I would storm out of there in a huff and tell them where to stick it, but now I don’t want to leave my team in a bind and to be honest I’m not in a big hurry to slam that door shut forever. However, my husband is putting the pressure on me to leave as quickly as possible because he legitimately needs help getting kids off to school (he was doing this up until now) since his business is finally going strong.

Meeting is scheduled with my VP on Monday at 9 am to formalize my departure. I have to tell him when I will be leaving. they’ve already asked what they could offer to make me stay. I feel like I’m totally indulging in confusion on this, but I can’t break through on modeling this one! Help!