I have been doing work around my thinking with my mother. She has my kids over one day each week. This past week was crazy with activities/events going on (that she wasn’t involved in). I told her there would not be a good day for the kids to stay with her explaining the schedule for the week. She reacted by telling me that I have been pushing her out of our lives (referring to the plans that I did not invite her to) and saying how she is missing out on the kids lives with how fast they’re growing up. Tears actually started to flow as she said this too. These are the two models I identified that came up after this interaction with her.

C Mom’s statements (above)
T I really should have made more of an effort to involve her
F guilt
A worrying about and not enjoying any plans that don’t involve her. Not sharing with her from events we are at and enjoying.
R I don’t enjoy the activities without her

C Mom’s statements (above)
T She is so manipulative! She acts like I’m intentionally leaving her out. It’s just a week!
F Angry
A not including her in activities/plans
R I’m intentionally not involving her

Obviously when I write out these models, I can totally see how crazy I am! Haha. My thinking either leads me to not enjoying my time when she’s not involved or intentionally leaving her out. This is the new model I came up with…

C Mother’s statements
T She is so silly! It’s just a week that she won’t see the kids. She will totally survive.
F amused
A Allowing mom to be who she is. Sharing photos with her from events we are at.
R I enjoy my time even if she’s not involved.

What do you think? As I set boundaries with my mom, I can totally see more of these reactions from her and my thoughts coming up. Thank you for your help.