the past year

Hello, I have had my business for about 4 years. I am not pleased with my results from this year. As of today, my two bank accounts are overdrawn. I am in more debt this year than I was last year. I have zero savings. I don’t have any money to pay my bills in the next few days. This has been the toughest year in business for me and the only positive I can think of is I am still alive.
I have cried for the past two days. I feel like I’m in a deep hole that I can’t get out of. I am trying so hard to move forward but I can’t see a way out of this. I have been through so much this year and I can’t even pinpoint how this all happened and how I got here. Christmas is in two days and I don’t have any money at all for gifts. Everyone views me as this successful business owner and I have nothing.
I set my impossible goal for next year and it actually does seem like I can do it. I have a big audience and everything I *need* to reach the goal, but I’m terrified 2021 will turn out like this year. I was very optimistic at the beginning of 2020 with the same thoughts but somehow I ended up here. I am not sure how I will even get through these next few days so how am I supposed to be excited for a 2021 impossible goal when I view my life now as rock bottom.