The people I love have manuals for me


A dear friend and my daughter, both, have manuals for me – how I act, what to say or not say, etc. Specifically, my friend told me one time when we were in a group setting meeting new people that I ask too many questions. That I “bombard” them. I thought I was being friendly and inclusive. I brushed her comment off, but I have found that it’s affecting our relationship. Same with my daughter (28 yo). She’s always telling me what to do, and sometimes she’s just passive-aggressive about it. Last weekend, we were walking in a shopping area on our way to lunch. I crossed the street sideways instead of straight (which wasn’t really a street, but part of the shopping area) and she said, “Mom, you drive me crazy. You’re supposed to walk straight across like the rest of the world does. It’s how you’re supposed to walk.” She’s done this for a while, now. I’ve tried to ignore it, but she makes me feel stupid. And so does my friend. I don’t believe I’m stupid or don’t know how to act in public, but I find myself getting upset that they have manuals for me and don’t know how to handle that.