After reading some questions on here I felt inspired and thought
1. I get to feel anything I want and that’s super powerful.
2. I get to think anything I want and that’s super powerful
3. I get to do anything I want and be ok with it and that’s super powerful
I’ve had moments of super awareness where I have thought after thought that I knock down by thinking “that ones not true, that ones not true nor is that”. It’s amazing.
Yesterday I hit a speedbump that knocked me completely down and I barely remembered anything I’ve learned.
My gf and I got into a fight, all of our insecurities were firing. I realized that it as all on me and I apologized. She’s still hurting and as a result distant and closed off.
As I’m not fully over it, my thoughts center on “this isn’t working, I should break up with her”.
That thought has been a very common since the beginning of our relationship whenever we get into arguments. I’ve thought about why I think that and come to the conclusion that my brain is trying to protect me from potential pain by getting me to leave before I get hurt.
I’ll have those thoughts and spin on them for a while then I’ll recognize it and try to stop it by thinking new thoughts. All along I feel that pain inside me that things aren’t right and I’ll circle back to this is not working. I cannot consistently get to a better place, I only have moments like above when I’ll be reading your site.
Things won’t be 100% right until she shows me love in some way. She’ll smile at me or say something and I’ll know she’s over it and then I’ll instantaneously be ok and know that we’re ok.
What can I do to get myself to a better place during this time?
From what I’ve learned here, anytime I have that thought I should give those emotions their space and think a new empowering thought.
I want to do that but that other thought is so dominant in my thoughts it takes over so much.