My boyfriend says negative things. And I like to accept them aa my thoughts. Which make me feel not worthy, not enough and like a failure.
He used to be supportive but we have been in a high stress situation and now says little qips.
“Your metabolism sucks”
“You are always changing your diet”
“You need to act like an adult and figure it out”
When I try to love him unconditionally and see how hard he handles things and try to realize these are his thoughts and feelings avout a circumstance and it is not fact. I dont believe it. I start to spiral thoughtwise. And beat myself up, which if I express to him he says, dont be self depricating. Dont beat yourself up.
I have offered him the model and your podcats. Tried to find things tobhelp him be greatful… and realized like you said, in podcast 165? How to be a good mate, it is not my job to change him.
But what can I do to improve our situation. I know we are financially and emotionally and physically drained from our jobs and family drama. I thought download and just see myself in the negative way he comments as fact.
I see you respond to other peoples thoight drama like adopt new facts and see how you feel. But if he really thinks I suck why am I here. Why is he with me. Does it matter. Does it only matter that I love him and know we can get through this hard patch in our personal lives.
Is this all too much thought drama? I just dont know how to hear his negative thoughts and not take them as fact?
C – he says something negative
T – my feelings are hurt
F – depressed. Self depricating.
A – nothing
R – prove him right
C- he says something negative
T- This situation is harder for him then me ans he lashes out
F- love, acceptance, forgiving
A- move on, keep going
Am I on rhe right path? Any suggestions.