The same old story

I am regularly in a situation where the past pops up in my present because my husband reminds me and himself past events we’ve already dealt with.

He struggles with low self-esteem and especially when it comes to renovate the house. I know that I didn’t helped him feeling confident because of the negative feedback I’ve given him. Even though I’ve already recognized it and apologised, he goes back to these situations as they were actually occurring.

And me, I’m done. I’ve moved forward. And every time he is reminding these situations, he is talking in my place (he is making the discussion by himself, saying what I would/should say).

He is resenting me again for what I’ve already asked for foregiveness. As I was responsible for his action/inaction now.

I am reminding myself that I have done what I could, and that this is past – I cannot change it. I decline the responsibility of being his only source of self-confidence. But I feel powerless as our relation is deteriorating and I don’t even need to open my mouth for that to happen or do something.

So my question is : how do I deal with past that has tangible consequences now ?

Thanks to your light on this situation 😉