I had a poor attitude yesterday about t-ball and was completely judging the sports park. My mind went to thinking, “this park is gross and it’s ugly, why can’t we have a pretty sports park with lush grass?”
I also thought that the sports park is ghetto and the cars drive by like they are going to run over someone. I was judging parents for being too young to be a parent, or too overweight. Oh was I judging!
And, judging because I think it should be different for me and I am way above this type of setting or environment. I want to live in the suburbs with other like-minded women where we can show up dressed cute smiling, talking, and where we all look alike.
I was triggered and upset again, thinking why do we live here on the border? And after a while, I calmed down and started to think about how patient the coach was and how lucky these kids were to get out and learn something new, for them to be around other kids and that they get to learn how to be patient and wait.
All though there was political controversy with that sports park it was an area where people could go to exercise and move their bodies.
C: The Sports Park
T: Ugh, this place is ugly.
A: Stood with my arms crossed and resting bitch face, was not receptive at all to others, stuck up attitude, did not enjoy the moment/memory.
R: I showed up with an ugly attitude
C: The Sport Park
T: Wow, there are so many kids having a fun time learning how to play t-ball.
A: I find a comfortable spot to set up my chair and watch the team practice, I enjoy the sun setting and evening breeze, I am present in watching the boys learn a new skill, I am aware that I am at the right place at the right time and have the power to influence change and help our community.
R: I have fun easing into this new adventure with our family.