The Swirling Tornado

Hi Brooke,
I am completely unable to feel my feelings…really experience the discomfort and also to commit to a daily practice that includes doing SCS homework. My main goal is to find meaningful work again. I am currently a stay at home mom. One of the ways I buffer is to constantly do things for the family. I’ll choose to clean the kitchen before prioritizing myself. Even do laundry. (WTF???). I feel like I know EXACTLY what is necessary to move forward, but I don’t do it. I buffer like crazy to get away from the swirling tornado in my chest, that’s the feeling I experience daily. I wish I could see it as excitement and curiosity…but instead it just makes me hide.
Here is my latest model
C: ????
T: I need to take care of everyone else before myself. That’s my job
F: Disappointment, sad, guilt
A: Looks for things to do for others, buffer, hide
R: I am not a priority
T:I can be a priority. I can do a daily practice. This is my doorway
F:excitement, curiosity
A:Commit to a daily practice of feeling my feelings
R: I am a priority and will move forward in reaching my goals