Unintentional model

C: Q4, I paid $10k of taxes in the 1040 site that should have been paid into EFTPS, so I had to make an additional $10k payment to EFTPS. Additionally, interest rates changed between the time I went under contract on an investment property, so I chose to pay an additional $10k to buy down points on the loan. Now I have a $10k balance on a credit card when normally I pay them off in full every month. Just paid state taxes over $3k.

T: I’m not going to make it.

F: Frantic.

A: Make to-do lists. Rush around. Count my money and expenses. Get out calculator and try to figure out how much money is likely coming from current work. Kick myself a little for every time I ever bought clothes or ate out even though these are not, percentage wise, a large part of my budget. Kick myself for not “putting myself out there” more with the coaching business. Judge my preferences in cosmetics, shampoo, food, etc. as “overly indulgent” when at other times I am aligned with it and feel it’s money very well spent.

R: Unnecessary suffering, disproportionate to actual reality. Not in the best frame of mind to “put myself out there.”

intentional model and bridge thoughts

C: same as above
T: It’s always worked out for me in the past / I’m showing up much bigger, and that’s why it feels a bit like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, but I’m going to figure out how and always do!
F: capable
A: Do those things that people who are “making it” do.
R: Pay off the credit card within a few weeks and refill the coffers easily. Have 2020 taxes to worry about 😉

I do believe the intentional model, but I’m definitely whipsawing myself between both the unintentional and the intentional one. Both are demonstrated results in my life at different points. Some of the recent calls were about wanting to pay taxes (I think this was on Monday hour one) and living as the woman who earns $5M per year (This was Brooke’s latest call). Is there anything I am missing here that would help me up this ladder and not keep falling off every time I think about all this money that just left my hands? Every year I go through some version of this, and suffer more than necessary. But, most of the people I know and who I perceive as “rich” compared to me don’t like taxes much either. Welcome to the club?