There got to be a manual in marriage, especially when having children. Right?

I have hard time letting go of having a manual for my husband. We are also parents to an amazing six-year-old son.

I understand that no one can change another person unless the person wants to change him/herself. But when it comes to such things as sex and since having entered the marriage where both agree on being monogamous, I do not think it is fair for either one to withhold sexual intimacy, especially when the partner doing so will not accept anything other than staying devoted and not questioning anything.

Also the parenting aspect, I believe it be so much easier and more fair to have dialogs and a mutual plan best for the child so the child sees his parents agree rather than not consulting or talking about things. I guess a marriage can look different for different people and I should have thought about it more and even asked my husband what he thought about what being married is for him.