There is never enough of something you don’t want 3

“Even if it were true that it’s not necessary to be in love with your husband, why not actively seek to experience more love anyway? After all, the primary beneficiary of doing so would be you. Consider running your answer through the model.”

I feel I have a resistance to create some love in my relationship with my husband. I find it easier to practice the thought: “My husband adores me” and feel loved, than to think “I adore my husband” and feel love. It’s like I would give up my power because I would not “fight” for the things I’d like to have in a relationship. I know it doesn’t make sense, because ultimately I want love and I would create it with my thoughts. But it’s like I would abdicate, and my husband would have won, he would have nothing special to do to feel loved by me and that would be unfair.

Again, I know it doesn’t make sense because I know my husband can’t feel the love I’m creating. It seems my brain is really attached to this old concept of love, where you give love to someone and the other person gives love to you.

It seems to me that, as a child, you need the love of your parents to construct yourself. It’s like your parents give you love and it nurtures you. I guess I have the same concept in my relationship deep inside, that my significant other should nurture me with love.

This is really eye-opening!

I’d like to gain awareness and to move on about those concepts.