Thinking & feeling things don’t really feel


Hi There,

My question has to do with this month’s exercise that has us describe the manual that we have for a person in our life. The second part of that exercise has us write what we would be thinking and feeling if that person did “all the things” perfectly. So I wrote that one of the things that I most want my person – who is my husband – to do is smile when he sees me (like at the end of the day when we come in from work or even just around the house) in a genuine way (vs a tight lipped smile and head nod).

In the second part of the exercise I wrote that if he did this perfectly I would be thinking/feeling “I love that he is happy to see me!” and I would be feeling like he LIKED me.

Brooke says that we can think and feel those things anyways, but I don’t find that thought believable. When he gives me that tight lipped smile and head nod (as if acknowledging a stranger in an elevator), which is frequent and not just at the end of a hard day – I really don’t see how I can feel, “…. ahh, he I love that he is happy to see me….. he really likes me”.

I also wish he could “get things” a bit quicker. But thinking – “Wow, he’s so sharp!” – again, is not terribly believable.

Any tips?

Thanks so much!