Thought download

I have a lot of negative thoughts and when I do my thought down load and the a model on one of these thoughts I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I notice my thoughts during the and how they cause my feelings which are mostly negative, I do the homework and mini sessions but I’m not really progressing. Wanted to show you a sample of my thought download. Towards the end I usually want to add in some positive thoughts that I’m working on believing- otherwise I go to bed feeling all the negative that comes up from the download. Any pointers to get me to the next level of progression? Or just patience:) thanks!

I should have his down by now. I ate so much. My stomach hurts. What do I do next? What do I work on? I want to be successful and have an amazing life. Is it possible? My stomach is fat. I look at other people’s figure and compare theirs to mine. Having a flat stomach is un realistic. I’m the only one working. Why isn’t he helping me? I have to do it all. I can’t have fun and take care of the kids. Kids come first. I can’t take care of myself always. I don’t have time to look nice and get ready. I’m doing my best. I wish I was different. I don’t know how to dress myself. I don’t know how girls do their hair and look nice all the time. I don’t have time for that. There is too much pressure to look good. I would try harder if Katie was here or one of my friends. I get dressed up when I want to impress someone. I don’t get dressed up for myself or for my kids. Only sometimes for my husband. Katie would get dressed up. She knows how to dress herself and do her hair. Why don’t I? I eat too much. I have no discipline. I feel like crap. I have no self confidence. I don’t like how I look in pictures. My forehead is too big. My teeth are too yellow. My nose is too big. I notice I ate today when I was restless and bored and even when I was super full and wanted to numb out. I’m better than this. I don’t like the way I feel when I have these thoughts. Tomorrow I will remind myself whose I am. A daughter of God. I will remind myself that it does matter what I eat, that I matter and my goals matter. Tomorrow I’m committed to feeling restless, bored, and overwhelmed. I’m committed to exquisite self care. I’m meant for more.