Thought ladder review- self worth


Hello! I had a bit of an ah ha this morning when doing my work and wondered if you could review my model. I’m still stuck in this idea that the only thing keeping me from being “worthy” is losing 20 pounds and finding a partner. I know intellectually that this is both unhelpful and possibly untrue (see? my brain is telling me this is a C). When trying to do an intentional model around it, I couldn’t believe the new thought. Can you help me with a ladder thought? This weekend at a growth group I’m part of I experienced a lot of pain and sadness about this thought. I believe it was unconscious until then. So I believe I allowed it and am ready to change it. Thank you!

Unintentional Model:
C – current weight and single status
T – I am unworthy of love and comfort at this weight and/or the “right” partner needs to validate that I’m worthy
F – Shame, sadness, loneliness
A – Cancel promising first dates, over cling when I meet someone I do like, value OTHER people for their looks (this was a lightbulb moment for me today), buffer with food, video games, social media
R – Stay single, stay current weight or gain weight

Intentional Model
C – current weight and single status
T – My worthiness of love and comfort are inherent and not tied in any way to my relationship status, looks or weight
F – Disdain because I don’t buy it
A – Same as unintentional
R – Same as unintentional