Thought Storm

I could use some coaching on a situation that I’ve allowed to totally trigger me today. I have a plethora of emotions ranging from anger, fear, sadness and resentment. I did a bunch of models, here are a couple:

c: Ex-husband not paying child support
t: I don’t know if I can do this on my own
f: afraid
a: spin in stories, complain, wallow, question myself, don’t work on my business, urge to buffer
r: I don’t make progress towards my financial goals

c: ex husband not paying for child support
t: he should be paying for things for his daughter
f: angry
a: complain, stress, spin in stories, urge to buffer
r: I am not working on additional income sources to pay for things for my daughter

c: ex husband not paying child support
t: I can thrive financially on my own
f: determined
a: work on my business, apply for different/additional jobs, sell things on ebay and poshmark, allow the urges
r: I support my daughter on my own

I don’t totally believe my IM yet. I would not say I’m thriving per se at the moment but I have made a lot of progress financially on my own.

I asked my future self and she told me that buffering is not the answer and that all this emotion is actually a good thing. She also told me to have compassion for him, myself and the whole situation and that it’s normal to have a lot of emotion – but that yes, I am causing it. She also said to keep taking action and working on my belief in myself.

I’m not trying to feel amazing about the whole situation but I would like to have a better story around it eventually. It feels good to have put the models on paper but I really want to work on my belief that I can thrive financially on my own.