I just had a breakthrough in my thinking around my kids that I wanted to share.
I have two sons, who are 2 and 5. I love and treasure them immensely, but when they behave in a rambunctious way (I realize rambunctious is probably not a C), I sometimes have difficulty remaining calm. I get stressed and tense, which is unpleasant for everyone, and when this builds up too much over time, I lose it and get angry, which I regret immediately afterward.
This is not the parent I want to be, so I’m giving it a lot of thought, trying to understand what’s at play exactly, and I realize that my thoughts in those situations is “they are out of control” i.e. “I can’t control their behavior”.
And after reading about Byron Katie’s “turning around” of thoughts, I had an epiphany: the thought I need to think is “I can control my behavior.” That is, I can’t control what they do, but I can 100% control how I react to it, and be the parent I want to be, competent and unruffled, who can handle whatever is thrown her way.
Holding on to this new thought has been very helpful over the past week or so, and I love how well the turnaround has worked in this instance. Perhaps it will be useful to other parents out there.