Thought work model

I’m looking for some guidance coaches.

Did a model this morning as my brain wasn’t going to let me sleep. I find this happens occasionally where my brain offers me thoughts in the middle of the night and I find I automatically try to find an alternate thought that might calm the current thoughts down. When this doesn’t work I beat myself up thinking I’m not learning this work effectively. Have to love those wee hour brains right!

The thoughts that were waking me up were surrounding a baby shower I am going to be planning for my daughter (pandemic style). My thoughts were about how she may feel, my other daughter got a better shower (pre pandemic), or that she might feel like I’m closer to my grandchildren that live here in the city (she lives 2 hours away).

My brain was trying to come up with “better” thoughts right then and there which of course wasn’t working. When I did my model I thought my discomfort was more about me thinking I wasn’t getting the hang of thought work more than those surrounding the upcoming shower so I did my model on that.

C: thought work
T: I’m not learning this effectively
F: defeated
A: beat myself up because I’m not able to come up with anything helpful, don’t stay curious, judge myself, don’t stay present but focus on getting “there”, get out of bed to do a thought download, model
R: reinforce to myself I’m not learning effectively???
Thanks in advance for any and all input.