At the end of 2019, I was curated into a group show by a curator who I really respect and admire. I made a new body of work for the exhibition and sent it across. However, the conceptual premise of the exhibition was impacted by the effect of the pandemic on the art world, and so the show was pending until recently when she has reinvigorated it.
Last week, the curator contacted me to ask whether I would like to participate in an email interview that will make its way into the publication for the show.
In these last two years, I haven’t been active in my art practice. I have had a baby and have relocated countries twice with my family due to unforeseen circumstances. We have just arrived at our end destination after a very long and stressful journey.
Part of my impossible goal is to ‘reinvigorate’ my art practice again, to renew it and achieve big things. I know that going back to where I left off with this work, is a great opportunity… but my thoughts around it are creating so much resistance and have resulted in me not writing back to her.
My thoughts:
I won’t know what to say; I am an avoider; I don’t feel connected to the work anymore; I will embarrass her; I don’t have time; I need to focus on settling in here; I don’t want to do it; I should do it; I feel obliged to do it; What if I won’t know what to say?; I will let her down; She obviously didn’t like the article that I wrote about the work at the time; I have nothing relevant to contribute; the other artists in the show are much more active; the other artists wouldn’t avoid this opportunity like me; I am not a real artist; I am not an artist anymore; I don’t even think I could make work anymore; I would be forcing it; I don’t really want to do it.
I know that the C line is totally neutral (C: Curator invited me for an interview). I know that I am avoiding writing back because of all the thoughts above.
I want to write to her from a place of inspiration and excitement. I want to feel confident and capable.
Any suggestions would be very welcome, thank you 🙂
